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Rien que des mots - amusoire - humour et fantaisie

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Rien que des mots

Des mots ou expressions décortiqués pour voir ce qu'il y a à l'intérieur. Comme lorsque nous étions gosses et que nous démontions nos jouets. L'Amusoire remonte ainsi le temps un peu à la manière d'un Alain Rey dont elle est fanatique*. *Pour ne pas dire "fan" abréviation du mot anglais "fanatic" lui-même issu du français "fanatique" découlant du latin "fanaticus" qui signifiait à l'époque "inspiré".


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mardi 11 décembre 2012

Pas de la louse pour le 12 - 12 - 2012 !


Le 12/12/2012, depuis Toulouse, nous irons, avec mon épouse,

pique-niquer sur les bords de la Douze.

Mais, comme elle est jalouse, une vraie ventouse,

point de partouze sur la pelouse avec de belles andalouses.

On fera attention à ne pas s'asseoir sur des bouses

pour ne pas tacher sa blouse qu'elle a achetée avec son flouze.

Là, à 12 h 12, je lui offrirai une superbe bagouze

garnie de perlouzes pour lui enlever le blues.

C'est bien mieux qu'une piquouze !

rivière la Douze

Photo de la Douze par JIBI44 sous licence CC

4078 lectures

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vendredi 21 octobre 2011

Petit vocabulaire de l'Ovalie


Lièvremont ne lui ayant pas posé de lapin, L'Amusoire a pu pénétrer dans le vestiaire des blancs-bleus, 48 heures avant leur rencontre face aux blacks. Bien que techniques, les consignes de l'entraineur ont été fort instructives. En voici quelques extraits.

dans la mêlée

« Crouch! Touch! Pause! Engage! »

"Bon, les sales gosses, moi je vous le dis, ces blacks ne sont pas invincibles. Il n'y haka les blackbouler. Pour ce faire, retenez ces principes :

Au signal de l'arbitre, en mêlée, les gros vous entrez au casque pour les impressionner. Allez-y bille en tête et rappelez-vous des séances d'entrainement gratinées quand vous peiniez sous le joug. De toute façon, vos oreilles en chou-fleur ne craignent plus grand chose ...Je veux vous voir liés et jouer au près avant d'envoyer au large vers les trois quarts. Si l'on vous châtie, gardez votre calme et n'ouvrez la boite à gifles qu'en dernier ressort.

Les avants, vous allez mettre la pression sur ces blacks avec des cocottes minute qui progressent rapidement. Ensuite, derrière le charnier, dégagement express pour la charnière. N'allez pas me pourrir le ballon dans la zone plaqueur-plaqué, malheureux. Dans les rucks, je veux vous voir gagner au grattage et faire du déblayage en restant sur vos appuis. Monsieur Propre, comme contre les anglais, je te veux brillant au nettoyage. Dans le maul, passez par la porte et non sur le côté. Papé, rappelle-toi que tu n'es pas chez Pagnol, ici. Tu es sur le front en deuxième ligne de tranchée, que diable !

Les 3èmes lignes, vous allez me faire des arrêts buffet et porter des caramels qui laisseront des traces. Je ne veux pas de courants d'air* ou bien, foi de Lievremont, vous allez vous prendre un soufflon. Dark Destroyer, ça ne devrait pas te poser de problème de plaquer des blacks, non ?

Même fatigués, pas de passages à vide ! Ça se verrait à l'écran ...

Pas de jeu dangereux non plus; exit donc le port de la cravate et le plaquage cathédrale qui vous conduirait aux enfers. De toute façon, vous êtes bien trop loin de vos bases pour montrer le Canigou à vos adversaires. Tout juste, vous autoriserez-vous quelques cuillères mais sans les fourchettes. Je vous ai à l’œil !

La Buche, à la touche, évites de lancer comme un pizzaïolo. N'oublies pas que dans l'alignement, les sauteurs, pour toi, font l'ascenseur. Dusautoir (sic), rappelle toi que le vol (plané) à la roulotte est interdit.

Les trois-quarts, vous qui avez des cannes, vous devez faire chanter la gonfle et aller, comme Moise, en terre promise. Mermoz, pas de vol plané, svp. Ne jouez pas aux polissons, c'est clair ? Si vous êtes plaqués, passez les bras pour faire circuler le ballon et enchainer les temps de jeu.
De l'arrière, Max la menace, envoies-moi des ogives pour occuper le terrain et ne compte pas uniquement sur tes appuis, même s'ils sont solides.

La ronce, de grâce, ne balance pas de parpaings à tes petits copains : ils t'accuseraient de les envoyer au casse-pipe. Sois également précis dans tes chandelles ou tu vas te faire allumer. N'hésites pas à passer par dessus le premier rideau défensif avant qu'il ne te grimpe dessus.

Le basque bondissant, ne te crois surtout pas obligé de pratiquer la chistera à tout-va et de faire des biscouettes à veux-tu en-voilà. Respectons les FON-DA-MEN-TAUX ! En fin de partie, Picamole, toi qui est resté pas mal à l'herbage, tu es bien affuté. Je te ferai donc rentrer pour raffuter un max.

Côté points, le Yach tu as intérêt à opérer ta transformation et à me les enquiller sinon, tu vas entendre parler des poteaux ...

Si avec tout ça, les mouches n'ont pas changé d’âne ... je veux bien répondre aux questions qui m'emmerdent ...

Allez les gars, c'est à vous de jouer maintenant ! "

Pour les explications de texte, le lecteur voudra bien se référer à ces deux sources principales :



Pour les novices, les (nombreuses) règles sont explicitées ici : http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%A8gles_du_rugby_%C3%A0_XV

Si vous connaissez d'autres expressions, merci de nous en informer.



Filou
essayiste

PS
Quelques joueurs sont cachés dans le texte, les aurez-vous reconnu ?

* Laporte, lorsqu'il était entraineur n'admettait pas que ses joueurs prennent des courants d'air
9415 lectures

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jeudi 6 janvier 2011

Les présents du passé simple

On m'a passé, de façon très simple, ces plaisants emplois du passé simple. Ils ont fait sourire votre aimable bovidé qui souhaitait vous les faire partager.

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9318 lectures

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vendredi 14 mai 2010

Ce soir, on se fait l'Amusoir ?

L'Amusoire s'est trouvée un "presqu'homonyme" en Belgique. Lui ne cuisine pas les mots mais les mets ...

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2705 lectures

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samedi 20 mars 2010

Journée Internationale de la Francophonie

A l'occasion du 40e anniversaire de l'Organisation Internationale de la Francophonie qui couvre 200 millions de locuteurs, l'Amusoire voulait rendre hommage aux québécois et à leurs créations originales sur la ligne de front nord-américaine.

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4028 lectures

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dimanche 7 mars 2010

Concours International des 10 mots de la francophonie

Avis à la e-population !

vous avez jusqu'au 20 mars pour raconter un fait divers en 25 lignes maximum et en utilisant les 10 mots choisis par la Délégation générale à la langue française et aux langues de France dans le cadre de l’opération «Dis-moi dix mots».

Qu'on se le dise !

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4057 lectures

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jeudi 24 décembre 2009

Belles lettres au Père Noël

Pour obtenir plein de cadeaux, c'est comme ça qu'opère Joël ...

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5140 lectures

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mardi 17 novembre 2009

Les maux des mots ou les oxymores visuels de Joël Guenoun

Saviez-vous que les mots sont parfois mal dans leur peau, à devoir gérer leurs contradictions internes ?

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4833 lectures

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samedi 30 mai 2009

La Charité pour les mots

Pour ceux qui, comme l'Amusoire aiment les mots, rendez-vous à la Charité-sur-Loire ce week-end.

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2366 lectures

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jeudi 21 mai 2009

Vie de môme

"Vie de môme est un site qui recueille ces moments infinis de poésie et de drôlerie contenus dans les paroles d'enfants. Venez vous balader avec frénésie dans la logique des petits ...

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2252 lectures

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jeudi 9 avril 2009

Sémantique routière

Voici une signalisation qui mérite l'exclamation mais suscite l'interrogation ...

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8390 lectures

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jeudi 19 mars 2009

Marche ou grève

L'Amusoire informe ses aimables lecteurs que le trafic sur son blog sera fortement perturbé ce jour.

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1860 lectures

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dimanche 15 mars 2009

Des mots pour demain (Semaine de la langue française)

Ailleurs, capteur, clair de Terre, clic, compatible, désirer, génome, pérenne, transformer, vision ...autant de mots qui montre que notre langue, parfois de bois, tente de s'adapter à un monde qui bouge.

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5928 lectures

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samedi 22 novembre 2008

Les mots de l'Amusoire

Le ciel de l'Amusoire se couvre de nuage, de nuage de mots, s'entend ...

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2049 lectures

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mardi 7 octobre 2008

Affabulation boursière

Dans le contexte financier actuel, nous serions bêtes de nous affoler. Faisons, si vous le voulez bien, un bout de banqueroute* ensemble ...

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2279 lectures

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mercredi 11 juin 2008

Bande d'oxymores !

Le but du jeu : énoncer cinq phrases introspectives sous formes d'oxymores (contradiction interne) et trouver 5 victimes qui devront en faire autant.

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5557 lectures

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lundi 19 mai 2008

Les mots ont des visages ...(PUB LICITE)

...et ceux mis en scène par le graphiste Joël Guenoun, ne manquent pas de poésie.

lire la suite

6801 lectures

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jeudi 8 mai 2008

Fonds de tiroir

Il vaut toujours mieux célébrer les anniversaires de naissance que de décès. Pour se remémorer un gars pas commode qui naquit le 9 mai 1939 et qui a, depuis 20 ans, passé le Seuil, on racle les fonds de tiroirs.

lire la suite

1808 lectures

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vendredi 22 février 2008

Manoche, un artiste qui fait sens

Voici un être lunaire qui joue habilement avec les mots et les situations. L'Amusoire est fière d'ouvrir ici une petite fenêtre gourmande à Manoche et à son nuancier...

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3378 lectures

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mercredi 20 février 2008

Curieux comme un pot de chambre

Voici un cliché pouvant illustrer cette curiosité.

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51508 lectures

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mardi 29 janvier 2008

Génériquer


Entendu le terme "génériquer" ce matin sur France-Inter (Service public) pour "prescrire des médicaments génériques".

Le mot devrait être introduit, par ordonnance, dans le dictionnaire :-)

Par principe, il ne faut donc plus prescrire de princeps (du latin princeps "premier" pour "médicament de marque"), c'est, en tout cas, ce que disent les génériqueurs sur la main.

Peut-être faudrait-il déposer un brevet pour tous ces mots nouveaux ...:-)



2255 lectures

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jeudi 17 janvier 2008

Belle langue pour une rencontre

La Semaine de la langue française est placée, en 2008, sous le signe de la rencontre.

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2961 lectures

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vendredi 9 février 2007

Les 10 mots de la langue française

A l'occasion de la Semaine de la langue française et de la francophonie, jouez avec les 10 mots (valise) proposés.

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9317 lectures

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vendredi 29 décembre 2006

Les exquis mots de la blogosphère

L'Office québécois de la langue française (OQLF) vient de mettre en ligne une liste de mots décrivant le "blogomonde". Certains de ces termes bloguesques, peu usités chez nous, valent bien quelques amusés commentaires ...

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4108 lectures

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samedi 25 novembre 2006

Taxi-brousse

Venez voir comme la francophonie est riche ... par sa langue et colorée dans sa diversité.

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5866 lectures

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jeudi 9 novembre 2006

Royale langue

Tentative pour nommer les partisans de la reine des sondages. Je vous assure que Jack le ministrable n'a pas participé à cette séance de créativité ...

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2805 lectures

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samedi 15 avril 2006

Rire et handicap, t'es pas cap !

Approcher le handicap par le rire, sans pitié et sans charité, c'est ce que propose l'association ARGOS en lançant un concours d'écriture humoristique sur le sujet.

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10708 lectures

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samedi 11 mars 2006

La langue française a sa semaine

Chaque année, à la même époque, on fait la fête à la langue française. Dix jours lui sont consacrés comme autant de mots avec lesquels vous êtes invités à jouer ...

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4133 lectures

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mercredi 1 février 2006

L'Amusoire au comptoir

Dernière petite série des "Brèves de comptoir" de Jean-Marie Gourio. Au delà, nous dépasserions notre droit de citation ...

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3317 lectures

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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/amusoire/www/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/amusoire/www/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/amusoire/www/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

jeudi 12 janvier 2006

Sabir anglo-castillan

Les langues "minoritaires" ont bien du mal à se faire respecter. Bien souvent leurs locuteurs les abandonnent à leur triste sort et se rangent du côté du plus fort. Tout le monde connaît ici le flirt poussé entre le français et l'anglais. Le castillan n'est pas logé à meilleure enseigne ...

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2818 lectures